On Being Polite and Kind

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If you are having a hard time accepting that being polite, professional and kind will result in a successful outcome, I suggest trying the following experiment. Place a call to a friend or plop yourself down in the chair next to your boyfriend or spouse. Greet them by saying Hello. Make a mental note of their response. Most likely they said “Hello” or “Hey”. Ask them a simple question such a “How are you?” Note the response. Most likely the response began with a direct but short answer to this question, followed by a reciprocating question such as “and how are you?” We receive our speech training as toddlers from our parents or guardians through mimicked rote responses. When addressed in a simple polite tone, you will get a simple polite answer.  This applies to negative comments as well.  When you ask a question or make a comment dripping in sarcasm, such as “Is your budget report going to show up late, again, this month? The response that this triggers is likely to be something defensive and equally dripping with disdain, such as “well if you didn’t keep changing the dates for when it is do, I might be able to plan better.”

Sometimes you just meet that person that no matter how hard you try – you can’t stand someone. Your personalities don’t mesh, A change in venue or a different moment in time will not make a relationship with this person any more palatable. If you are going to intentionally burn a bridge, make sure it passes the NIML (Never In My Life do I want to be friends with you) test.

 

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