Coworkers comes to the workplace with different expectations backgrounds, relationships and experiences. We have to be careful to pick and choose whom we confide in. If you aren’t sure, then wait. We are all anxious to settle in and get to know our new work family. Mindful execution will pay off. Here is how. In your first month you’re going to meet a bunch of people that you don’t know. It’s hard to know why someone joined a particular department. Their job may be the same but their path to this career is different than yours. While you’re learning about your coworkers, I suggest you create a blank board and see if others write on it first. I would withhold some personal information, particularly your opinions. You want to start off on a good foot but something you may say can hit a sensitive spot. Try the Give and Get sequence. Ask a question or two about a safe subject such as departmental goals or time in service, and see if you receive a response. If your questions are not answered with enthusiasm or accompanied by opinion, then hold back on your own. Work on slowly building a rapport before straying too far away from the day to day work routine. Creating an atmosphere where others can share their opinions will give you a test field on whether it is appropriate to share yours.
If you are having a hard time accepting that being polite, professional and kind will result in a successful outcome, I suggest trying the following experiment. Place a call to a friend or plop yourself down in the chair next to your boyfriend or spouse. Greet them by saying Hello. Make a mental note of their response. Most likely they said “Hello” or “Hey”. Ask them a simple question such a “How are you?” Note the response. Most likely the response began with a direct but short answer to this question, followed by a reciprocating question such as “and how are you?” We receive our speech training as toddlers from our parents or guardians through mimicked rote responses. When addressed in a simple polite tone, you will get a simple polite answer. This applies to negative comments as well. When you ask a question or make a comment dripping in sarcasm, such as “Is your budget report going to show up late, again, this month? The response that this triggers is likely to be something defensive and equally dripping with disdain, such as “well if you didn’t keep changing the dates for when it is do, I might be able to plan better.”
Sometimes you just meet that person that no matter how hard you try – you can’t stand someone. Your personalities don’t mesh, A change in venue or a different moment in time will not make a relationship with this person any more palatable. If you are going to intentionally burn a bridge, make sure it passes the NIML (Never In My Life do I want to be friends with you) test.
As companies look for ways to promote teamwork and a collaborative work environment, the debate about an open-office environment has been on for over a decade. In an effort to build a creative space where ideas are spontaneously combusting through the work day and profitability is soaring, companies are boosting their capital expense budget each year to allow for a fit-out of new office space. General contractors are enjoying their new-found job security as they knock down walls and open up space to entice workers into a cozy state of cohabitation. Surely, this has been seen as a panacea that will improve learning and idea sharing.
It seems like a great plan, but what corporate executives didn’t plan for is how today’s culture has been transformed by the smart phone era to the extent that the workforce would rather text you than speak to one another. This new workforce is highly adaptable to their new conditions. One can even download white noise apps. No problems here for these tech-savvy business warriors who have replaced bricks and mortars and achieved isolation with walls made of internet sites, video games and social apps. The biggest dilemma may be with the next generation that will arrive in the work force. Ask any parent who tries to extend conversation with their teenager beyond the dinner table, and heads will be bobbing like a buoy in a wake zone.
Enter stage right, a host of electronic products on everyone’s holiday shopping list, and the perfect storm is created that dampens the creative energy amongst a team like the Bose QC15 noise-cancellation head phones muffles the engine noise of a 777 for any lucky passenger who can afford them. (Love mine BTW). The silence generated is eerie. So much so that your staff may even be oblivious to the roar of a Walker from the Walking Dead shuffling down a cubicle farm.
It used to be that bulky headphones were reserved for the “hipster” engineer designing the next patentable product while sitting in a darkened cube staring at two computers screens and listening to sports talk radio or 1979 Led Zeppelin songs on their shiny new disc players. The pillars of industry liked keeping these guys quiet and happy as they built them a library of intellectual property. But now, everyone hooks on headphones or ear buds.
The outcome is that coworkers may be less likely to communicate with others sitting in the same space than those assigned to cubicles or separate offices. As a manager, the direct report seems oblivious, becoming the focal point of frustration as they try to engage and get their attention.
Can managers enforce a “no-headphone” policy? Likely not, without creating some infringement of this newly established work zone. Do we have to resort to encouraging communication by sending Outlook invites to plead with coworkers to speak together? Maybe we can create a collaboration goal around it, and reward people for simply talking to one another.
Headphones also inhibit the opportunity for casual networking before and after work. I observed an executive who entered an elevator and asked an employee how they were. When the employee realized that he had been addressed, he took one bud out and said “what?”. The executive shook him off. Both of them had checked out, and the opportunity for networking had passed.
My advice for anyone who may be reading this while listening to music through ear buds – recognize that someone may want to talk to you right now, but perceive you as closed off – to new ideas and a chance at new responsibilities. Good communication skills are essential for an emerging manager, but it is difficult to practice them while listening to Spotify or Pandora. Take them off and initiate a work buzz at your office. See what happens.
Joyce Mihalik is the President & CEO of HlpSum1, Inc., a start-up company in Akron, Ohio that operates social media sites, with a mission to inspire people to help others and increase volunteering. As part of programming, Joyce has started a blog site called Business World – Beyond the Classroom, with a goal of providing guidance for young career professionals.
Whether you are a team manager or an individual contributor, there are certain norms that we have learned while growing up that still apply today. I often loved the book and the expression that everything we need to know we learned in kindergarten. Not quite – but some common rules apply. One golden role – say Hello and Goodnight to any of your coworkers you see when you start your work day or end it. This can take many forms: “Hey”, “how are you”, “did you watch that game yesterday”, “what a commute today”, “sunny day”, “how was the weekend” . Some form of acknowledgement is required to improve collaboration and support teamwork and camaraderie. Not only is it a common courtesy, but it tells your coworkers that I am interested in being a member of this team and that I respect you as a person (even if you don’t like their work), and that in turn, I expect the same consideration. At the end of the day, an acknowledgement is also needed, for those you see along your pathway to the door, and even going a little out of your way to stop and recognize their presence again. What if you are normally quiet, is this still required? The answer is Yes!!, especially in this case. Coworkers of quiet people need reinforcement to gauge the attitude of their coworkers. Is there a problem? Is he or she unhappy with their work life? Are we good?
On your way into the job today, stop and say “hey”, you will likely be greeted in the same way, and have set a positive tone for the rest of the day.